I didn’t kiss you goodbye tonight. I didn’t feel like you deserved it. I wasn’t trying to be mean, but I just couldn’t excuse your behavior towards me. Most could ridicule their assumptions of a cry for attention. I simply just don’t think it’s fair to have to ask someone to love you. And I also don’t think it’s fair to have to be the one exerting my breath in order to convince you to understand. It’s not the first time I’ve told you how I felt. I don’t have enough fingers to count the amount of times I’ve begged you to do better. I have given you so much grace and patience that I expect to suffer alone. No romance, no spark to keep the flame alive ends in a cold wick. I am tired. I have already been grieving you as much as it hurts to say. Maybe I’m a bad person for staying, foolishly optimistic you will change, or maybe I am just too weak minded, lacking the courage to leave.
I love you. But I’m not sure if love is enough to sacrifice the pain I’m enduring. Feeling alone in a relationship is worse than heartbreak. It feels like being stabbed over and over slowly, and unbearingly.
But I just continue to suffer in silence, writing down all the words I couldn’t say to you without breaking down into tears.
im a sad girl 
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